Three is a Magic Number

It's PRIDE month.  For the last three years, June has been a really strange time in ministry for me.  People often refer friends, relatives, and colleagues to talk through issues around identity and gender diversity.  I get calls from people dissatisfied with their own church's stance who are trying to figure out steps to allyship.  I get calls from parents trying to do the right things.  But the most holy calls I get are from people from the LGBTQIA community, folks looking for hope after church rejection, spiritual trauma, and family rejection.   These folks are brave:  brave to recount the pain, brave to dare to accept themselves, brave to let themselves sense a glimmer of healing grace.  Their stories are sacred, and I feel nothing but gratitude that I'm let into this sacredness.   Recently I was asked by a group to provide a two-minute speech about the power of story-telling during a time of holy conferencing (the nice version ...

 I’m responsible for four humans who are between the ages of 16-21 years old (three are offspring and one is niece).  About a year ago, all three were playing a game in the dining room while I was lounging in the living room.  I heard one say, “It just occurred to me.  I’m the only straight cis person in this room!” Sure enough, I’m not sure how it happened, but I’m blessed to get to parent a bunch of rainbow umbrella kids.  They are proud of who they are.  And I’m proud they have discovered, or are discovering, their identities.  So it’s no secret around here.  We’re all out… and figuring it out.  I’m also a United Methodist pastor.   And for anyone who follows along with denominational things, this is a tough week.   We have a lot of “tough weeks” as a denomination because we are anything but united.   This particular week is tough because a significant part of the denomination is leaving to form a new denomination.   W...

As a pastor, I get the privilege of talking to parents about why worship matters for kids.  Most people expect me to give religious reasons:  God is worthy of worship; worship is part of discipleship.  And, yep, that’s all true.  But when it comes to worship and children, I find myself mostly giving the perspective of a developmental psychologist (you know, that other job I do).   Here’s what I shared recently with a group of parents: 1. Patterns, rhythms, and rituals build identity, create a sense of security, and orient/ground us.  Research for over 70 years (yes, that many!) has shown that children thrive when their grownups provide rituals and routines.  Worship is a powerful ritual that reminds kids, “you are part of something bigger.”   Family routines and rituals may improve family relationships and health (apa.org) 2. Worship is a sensory-rich experience with music, liturgy, readings.  Little brains are stimulated when ...