The Stole and Robe

I’ve been pretty open in the past about my personal dislike of clergy garb.  I’ve worn a clergy robe just once, during my license recognition in WI.  Because it was my aunt’s robe, the moment was actually kind of important to me.  I’ve worn a stole just four times: once for a Christmas play where the pastor had a role, twice at the St. Croix County fair because I wear a mentor’s stole in honor of him, and once during regular worship when it went with what I was talking about.

When I was doing church planting, it obviously made no sense to wear a robe, but I knew it would come up eventually in my current church.  The lead pastor and I decided to put the conversation on ice for a bit, so I thought I better get clear about what the rub is for me in order to explain it to others.  Just a note, these are my personal feelings.  I have lots of friends who wear clergy garb for lots of great reasons.  These are just my reasons on why I don’t like it.

First the robe…

I don’t want anything to be a barrier between me and others.  I have heard too many people on the fringe of church talk about how the distinction between pastors and regular people are problematic to them connecting to a faith community.  This is the reason I don’t preach behind a pulpit and why I read Scripture from the aisle.  This is why I loved leading stuff at Solomon’s Porch where we worshiped in a circle.  This is why I appreciate people complimenting me by telling me I'm a pastor who's "not pastor-y."   

I believe authority is earned, not simply granted based on position—and certainly not granted by what you put on your body.  When I personally think of wearing a robe, it feels like an “authority grab."  Younger generations are skeptical about religious authority, and I totally understand why.  For me, authority is best granted when it genuinely comes out of the relationship one establishes within the community one pastors.  In other words, authority is in the relationship, not the clothing.

  

As a woman, I hate the idea of something I wear defining me.  What a woman puts on her body is constantly scrutinized.  A piece of clothing can't say anything about one’s heart, one’s relationship with God, one’s call to spread grace all over the place.  Just like my swimsuit choice shouldn’t be judged, neither should what I cover myself with when I preach the Gospel.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I think clothing does send a message and can enhance self-expression.  I do care and put time into my clothing choices.  Color, cut, pattern ...those are art things and seem fair game for self-expression, but a robe….?  It just doesn't describe what I want to express.     

I understand some people experience comfort when seeing their pastor in a robe, and I do respect that.  Yet, someone else wanting me to wear a robe to make themselves feel secure says more about them than it does about me.  I feel no need to wear a robe to feel confident, to sense my call to Word/order/sacrament/service, or to be secure in that call.  Really, I'm more secure in that now than ever, and I haven't put on a robe.  My hope is that my call is clear to 'my people' from my interactions and leadership. 

Last thing on the robe... Robes are a tradition that people barely even know about anymore.  No surprise to anyone, I’m not huge “tradition gal,” yet I do enjoy re-traditioning by breathing new life into old traditions.  But robes are not a tradition I think deserve reviving.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDjmz_LN-mw  Because most people don’t even know the history of robes, it doesn’t seem like it carries very much meaning any more.  And honestly, I think people who didn’t grow up in the church just see them as silly.

Now to the stole... 

United Methodists are different than some other denominations when it comes to stoles.  Only ordained clergy wear stoles in the UMC.  For really personal, theological, and ecclesiological reasons, I have decided to remain a licensed pastor (that’s a whole different story). 

So here’s my take on why this is a bit hard for me… If this is a connectional thing—a sign of one’s relationship to the connection/conference or a sign of one’s role in the connection—then stoles should only be worn when engaging in connectional/conference activities, not in local activities.  The responsibilities of Word, sacrament, order, and service are the same for licensed pastors and ordained pastors, so it seems like the symbol should be based on the context and one's role in the local context.  Let’s get honest, most regular church people in our sanctuaries have no idea that a stole is to be worn by certain clergy but not by others.  Because most people apply their own meaning to it, the connectional meaning gets lost in that setting.  An analogy: during graduations, professors dress up in their academic garb based on degrees; it’s quite a site.  But they would never wear their stuff into the classroom.  In the classroom, we all look the same.

Here’s what’s strange though, I’m actually comfortable wearing a stole—without a robe, that is.  To me, it’s a way to dress up, self-express, and send a message about the message, without creating a barrier between me and others.  I found myself explaining to someone recently, “The stole has less to do with authority and connection than it has to do with making a statement or expressing something about what I’m saying.”  I would never wear a stole at a connectional/conference event, however, because it has a different meaning there than it does for people in the sanctuary.

The other reason I'm comfortable in a stole... Women from previous generations fought to be able to wear stoles.  At one point it was a sign of equality, a way for women to live their calling in the way men do.  Trust me, I’m beyond grateful for the women who went before me and made this vocation possible for me.  In a strange sort of way, wearing a stole feels honoring to that. 

And now an opinion... This rule about only ordained clergy wearing stoles is actually a little bothersome to me.  This type of thing is exactly what seems wrong with so much of religion—we get stuck in the rules that create boundaries and borders and separate people.  We get stuck living with rules that were created by previous generations as the “thing to do,” as if they knew better about what was more honoring to God than we do.  I often see questions about some of this pop up on Methodist Facebook pages:  "Regarding liturgical rules, is this ok or that ok?"  As if there's an arbitrary moral standard for this.  As if any of it matters to God.  At one point we were probably asking, "Is it ok for a woman to be a pastor?", which now seems silly beyond belief. 

There is a time I think wearing a stole or collar is really important.  When engaging in public ministry, clergy are often called upon to wear their stoles and collars and show up at public events.  Now this makes sense.  Because the relationship isn’t personal (at least to start) in public ministry, the stole or collar is an important tool.  It’s a way to make the statement—particularly when a group of clergy stands together—about what it means to be a faithful person in the world. 

Well, there it is.  It’s complicated.  Trust me, this isn’t really that important to me.  I probably will end up wearing a robe, and it will be fine and great.  It’s just that I don’t want to lose these edges to my ministry that I feel passionate about as I enter more traditional roles.