Decision made
So everything just happened really fast…
March 11th – working at Stout. Checked with the program director about my credit load next year. It looked like I would have my current classes at minimum, with possibilities of picking up a few more credits. I decided that was enough to turn in my letter of resignation to my school job.
March 14th Morning – Mailed my letter of intent to enroll at United Theological Seminary.
March 14th Afternoon – Met with my superintendent to turn in my letter of resignation. Four weeks ago, this would have been a moment I would have dreaded. However, given the events in WI in February and March, and the anticipated cuts to public education, it was not a dreadful experience at all. My words to my superintendent: “I was worried that handing this letter to you was going to be the hardest part of my journey because I love my career, and I think I do well at it. But with everything going on, I just feel relieved.” And that was that.
March 16th – Left for vacation.
March 20th Morning – Before leaving the wonderful townhouse we stayed in at Lutsen, I mentioned to my in-laws that we will be broke from now on.
March 20th Afternoon – Arrived home and got the mail. My scholarship letter arrived—Dayton Merit Scholarship and probably eligible for need-based aid. This obviously doesn’t make up for my income we are losing, but it sure helps with the amount of money going out.
March 20th Evening – While logging onto my work e-mail, I decided to skim the upcoming school board agenda. I was not prepared to see the following item: Approve Resignation of Somerset School Psychologist Kelly Lamon. Felt less relieved.
Why has this been so hard? In my mind, schools and hospitals are the two best places to work. (Shout out to my little sister!) Imagine working along side people who are full of compassion and hope. People really, really care. In a school, we look at students who come from terrible situations and know that we can make a difference in their outcome. Hope! Every single day, I get to witness teachers, counselors, administrators, and teacher assistants show genuine care for children. I watch these professionals, and I am amazed and inspired by them. I get to see kids with disabilities thrive—reading skills improve and social skills improve. And when students don’t make the expected gains, I get to be part of working on the problem and creating a program that does work.
The strange thing about all this…. The mourning of my career as a public educator has collided head-on with the WI political events. In the midst of processing my own emotions over leaving my position, I have been faced with an ideological stretch. Someone asked me, “Kelly, you are leaving next year anyway. Why does all this matter to you so much?” There are about five reasons why, and I will explain them sometime on this blog. But this is the most important reason: The people I describe above, the people I admire everyday, are being attacked. We have been called free-loaders, moochers on a gravy train, parasites, thugs, slobs, and slugs. People have said that we don’t deserve our salary and benefits (total package), or that there is a whole host of bad apples in the profession. Sorry—this is something I just can’t tolerate, not when I witness hope, compassion, and care everyday. Watching my profession being attacked has made me appreciate it that much more.
So then why would I even consider leaving education? Two quotes from Gordon T. Smith help with that. (Thank you, aunt Jane, for the book.)
1. “Discernment is a discriminating choice between two good options.” In my case… Good option A) Stay in the school setting OR Good Option B) Go into full time ministry. Both are equally “good.”
2. Discernment is for “those who want not only to do good, but to do the good that they are called to do.” I feel blessed to do “good” in my current position, but also feel like God is calling me to another place of “good”… the good I am called to do.
Called to do. Not something I just happened into and found that I loved, which is how things have always gone for me. But called. Beckoning. Figuring out where the voice is coming from and leading to. Trust. Into uncertainty. And do you know what? It’s all okay.
And from this point on… the decision is made. There is no turning back. And it really is all okay, for now anyway.
March 11th – working at Stout. Checked with the program director about my credit load next year. It looked like I would have my current classes at minimum, with possibilities of picking up a few more credits. I decided that was enough to turn in my letter of resignation to my school job.
March 14th Morning – Mailed my letter of intent to enroll at United Theological Seminary.
March 14th Afternoon – Met with my superintendent to turn in my letter of resignation. Four weeks ago, this would have been a moment I would have dreaded. However, given the events in WI in February and March, and the anticipated cuts to public education, it was not a dreadful experience at all. My words to my superintendent: “I was worried that handing this letter to you was going to be the hardest part of my journey because I love my career, and I think I do well at it. But with everything going on, I just feel relieved.” And that was that.
March 16th – Left for vacation.
March 20th Morning – Before leaving the wonderful townhouse we stayed in at Lutsen, I mentioned to my in-laws that we will be broke from now on.
March 20th Afternoon – Arrived home and got the mail. My scholarship letter arrived—Dayton Merit Scholarship and probably eligible for need-based aid. This obviously doesn’t make up for my income we are losing, but it sure helps with the amount of money going out.
March 20th Evening – While logging onto my work e-mail, I decided to skim the upcoming school board agenda. I was not prepared to see the following item: Approve Resignation of Somerset School Psychologist Kelly Lamon. Felt less relieved.
Why has this been so hard? In my mind, schools and hospitals are the two best places to work. (Shout out to my little sister!) Imagine working along side people who are full of compassion and hope. People really, really care. In a school, we look at students who come from terrible situations and know that we can make a difference in their outcome. Hope! Every single day, I get to witness teachers, counselors, administrators, and teacher assistants show genuine care for children. I watch these professionals, and I am amazed and inspired by them. I get to see kids with disabilities thrive—reading skills improve and social skills improve. And when students don’t make the expected gains, I get to be part of working on the problem and creating a program that does work.
The strange thing about all this…. The mourning of my career as a public educator has collided head-on with the WI political events. In the midst of processing my own emotions over leaving my position, I have been faced with an ideological stretch. Someone asked me, “Kelly, you are leaving next year anyway. Why does all this matter to you so much?” There are about five reasons why, and I will explain them sometime on this blog. But this is the most important reason: The people I describe above, the people I admire everyday, are being attacked. We have been called free-loaders, moochers on a gravy train, parasites, thugs, slobs, and slugs. People have said that we don’t deserve our salary and benefits (total package), or that there is a whole host of bad apples in the profession. Sorry—this is something I just can’t tolerate, not when I witness hope, compassion, and care everyday. Watching my profession being attacked has made me appreciate it that much more.
So then why would I even consider leaving education? Two quotes from Gordon T. Smith help with that. (Thank you, aunt Jane, for the book.)
1. “Discernment is a discriminating choice between two good options.” In my case… Good option A) Stay in the school setting OR Good Option B) Go into full time ministry. Both are equally “good.”
2. Discernment is for “those who want not only to do good, but to do the good that they are called to do.” I feel blessed to do “good” in my current position, but also feel like God is calling me to another place of “good”… the good I am called to do.
Called to do. Not something I just happened into and found that I loved, which is how things have always gone for me. But called. Beckoning. Figuring out where the voice is coming from and leading to. Trust. Into uncertainty. And do you know what? It’s all okay.
And from this point on… the decision is made. There is no turning back. And it really is all okay, for now anyway.
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