Vocational Statement
In our Christmas letter, I mentioned that I would post my vocational statement for seminary on the blog. Then those interested in knowing a bit more about the "why" and "how" of the decisions can read up here. So, here that is:
Career Path and Calling
My career path is not one that I ever would have predicted. After earning a Masters in Education degree and an Educational Specialist degree, I have been blessed with opportunities to work in pre-kindergarten through 12th grade school settings as a school counselor/school psychologist and to work in higher education training future educators. I have thoroughly enjoyed serving at-risk children, teens, and families. I have been enthusiastic about training future educators who will make positive impacts in the lives of children. Through advising graduate students’ research, I have gained insight, been challenged, and found great interest in using data to inform educational practice. My career has been very fulfilling.
The decision to commit to seminary, and ultimately a career in full-time ministry, was not an easy decision for me. As noted in the previous paragraph, I have thoroughly enjoyed my career and truly feel as though I am offering myself to those who need me. In many ways, there are no surface reasons for me to take this journey. I often tell people, “Life is good.” Yet, in my heart, I know that life is not quite complete.
The persistent call, which first appeared when I was in high school during a family member’s ordination ceremony, has continued to bubble up in me for many years. This is actually my third attempt to analyze God’s desire of seminary for me. During my junior year of undergraduate school, I was almost certainly headed to seminary. Friends, with whom I was working during summers in the Minnesota United Methodist Camping system, were pursuing full-time ministry, and I felt I should be doing the same. Resisting the call, at this point, was not difficult though since my father was insistent that I needed to experience a little bit of “life” first. I choose to go to graduate school for school psychology instead. His wisdom turned out to be very valuable.
My second attempt to attend seminary, and resist it, was in 2007. I enrolled at United Theological Seminary as a non-degree student, thinking I would take four to six classes that year while retaining my part-time position teaching at the University of Wisconsin—Stout. I choose UTS because my aunt was attending and working there at the time. A request to work part-time in Somerset, the school district my children attend, shifted those plans though. I have pursued just one class over the last four years. During these four years, I have become very comfortable working for Somerset Schools, yet the call has persisted throughout.
For a long time I had much difficulty putting words to what it felt like to be called. Even describing it to my husband was difficult. Explaining it to friends and family was even more challenging. And to be completely candid, for quite some time, I was actually angered that I was being asked to pursue seminary, especially given the joy I feel in my current career. Because of my inability to use language to describe the call and because of my negative emotions attached to it, I concluded I needed to do some serious discernment.
During the summer of 2010, I engaged in several activities which helped clarify my call and to ultimately accept and embrace it. I read four books on discernment. These books gave me language to describe what was going on inside me. To my surprise, I found the spiritual practices by Ignatius of Loyola particularly helpful. Through these discernment activities and others, I came to notice that my skills, desires, and interests were changing to be more theologically focused. Others in my life were confirming and affirming my new passions. Additionally, I met with the Chaplain and Spiritual Director at UTS, who is a friend of my family. By speaking aloud my thoughts to her, I made real the path ahead and got confirmation that what I was feeling and thinking was normal.
Without hesitation, I now know my call is clear. I am able to explain both intellectually and emotionally what it feels like to be called: Being called to ministry is like having a light within you which will not go out. You can pretend the light isn’t present, or you might attempt to turn it off, cover it up, or turn away. But the light continues to illuminate, and eventually you finally acknowledge it’s existence and give up on feeble attempts to switch it off. With time, you realize the usefulness of the light, and with more time, you delight in the joy the light actually offers.
Plans for Candidacy and Ordination
While I always thought I would seek ordination in the United Methodist Church, several events have occurred over the last two years which have made me examine the possibility of candidacy and ordination in several denominations. I am still a member of the United Methodist Church in which I have been active since 2002, but I am actually attending a Lutheran Church and visiting other churches frequently. I certainly never thought I would enter seminary without a plan for ordination, and I fully realize I need to have this decided soon. Even though I am slightly uncomfortable not knowing, several spiritual mentors have encouraged me to be patient.
Future Goals
People who are close to me would describe me as the type of person who often sets goals and commits to these goals once I have decided to pursue a path. I have always been a person able to confidently state my goals and predict my short-term and long-term future. Yet, to a certain extent, commenting on my vocational goals is a bit complicated at this point, not only because I am still researching different denominations, but because I am learning the painful lesson of how to give up control in order to trust. I truly am trying to accept that I cannot plan the future so easily anymore. But even with that said, I do still have suspicions of where I might be headed: I indeed believe I am called to pastor a congregation. Working in church leadership is my passion and really where I feel most energized and at peace. I am particularly interested in the spiritual awaking of post-modern generations. I also love teaching, and I suspect I might still end up in a doctoral program and teach in higher education as a tenure track faculty member. I cannot grasp how these two vocations might unite, but I am working on trust.
Career Path and Calling
My career path is not one that I ever would have predicted. After earning a Masters in Education degree and an Educational Specialist degree, I have been blessed with opportunities to work in pre-kindergarten through 12th grade school settings as a school counselor/school psychologist and to work in higher education training future educators. I have thoroughly enjoyed serving at-risk children, teens, and families. I have been enthusiastic about training future educators who will make positive impacts in the lives of children. Through advising graduate students’ research, I have gained insight, been challenged, and found great interest in using data to inform educational practice. My career has been very fulfilling.
The decision to commit to seminary, and ultimately a career in full-time ministry, was not an easy decision for me. As noted in the previous paragraph, I have thoroughly enjoyed my career and truly feel as though I am offering myself to those who need me. In many ways, there are no surface reasons for me to take this journey. I often tell people, “Life is good.” Yet, in my heart, I know that life is not quite complete.
The persistent call, which first appeared when I was in high school during a family member’s ordination ceremony, has continued to bubble up in me for many years. This is actually my third attempt to analyze God’s desire of seminary for me. During my junior year of undergraduate school, I was almost certainly headed to seminary. Friends, with whom I was working during summers in the Minnesota United Methodist Camping system, were pursuing full-time ministry, and I felt I should be doing the same. Resisting the call, at this point, was not difficult though since my father was insistent that I needed to experience a little bit of “life” first. I choose to go to graduate school for school psychology instead. His wisdom turned out to be very valuable.
My second attempt to attend seminary, and resist it, was in 2007. I enrolled at United Theological Seminary as a non-degree student, thinking I would take four to six classes that year while retaining my part-time position teaching at the University of Wisconsin—Stout. I choose UTS because my aunt was attending and working there at the time. A request to work part-time in Somerset, the school district my children attend, shifted those plans though. I have pursued just one class over the last four years. During these four years, I have become very comfortable working for Somerset Schools, yet the call has persisted throughout.
For a long time I had much difficulty putting words to what it felt like to be called. Even describing it to my husband was difficult. Explaining it to friends and family was even more challenging. And to be completely candid, for quite some time, I was actually angered that I was being asked to pursue seminary, especially given the joy I feel in my current career. Because of my inability to use language to describe the call and because of my negative emotions attached to it, I concluded I needed to do some serious discernment.
During the summer of 2010, I engaged in several activities which helped clarify my call and to ultimately accept and embrace it. I read four books on discernment. These books gave me language to describe what was going on inside me. To my surprise, I found the spiritual practices by Ignatius of Loyola particularly helpful. Through these discernment activities and others, I came to notice that my skills, desires, and interests were changing to be more theologically focused. Others in my life were confirming and affirming my new passions. Additionally, I met with the Chaplain and Spiritual Director at UTS, who is a friend of my family. By speaking aloud my thoughts to her, I made real the path ahead and got confirmation that what I was feeling and thinking was normal.
Without hesitation, I now know my call is clear. I am able to explain both intellectually and emotionally what it feels like to be called: Being called to ministry is like having a light within you which will not go out. You can pretend the light isn’t present, or you might attempt to turn it off, cover it up, or turn away. But the light continues to illuminate, and eventually you finally acknowledge it’s existence and give up on feeble attempts to switch it off. With time, you realize the usefulness of the light, and with more time, you delight in the joy the light actually offers.
Plans for Candidacy and Ordination
While I always thought I would seek ordination in the United Methodist Church, several events have occurred over the last two years which have made me examine the possibility of candidacy and ordination in several denominations. I am still a member of the United Methodist Church in which I have been active since 2002, but I am actually attending a Lutheran Church and visiting other churches frequently. I certainly never thought I would enter seminary without a plan for ordination, and I fully realize I need to have this decided soon. Even though I am slightly uncomfortable not knowing, several spiritual mentors have encouraged me to be patient.
Future Goals
People who are close to me would describe me as the type of person who often sets goals and commits to these goals once I have decided to pursue a path. I have always been a person able to confidently state my goals and predict my short-term and long-term future. Yet, to a certain extent, commenting on my vocational goals is a bit complicated at this point, not only because I am still researching different denominations, but because I am learning the painful lesson of how to give up control in order to trust. I truly am trying to accept that I cannot plan the future so easily anymore. But even with that said, I do still have suspicions of where I might be headed: I indeed believe I am called to pastor a congregation. Working in church leadership is my passion and really where I feel most energized and at peace. I am particularly interested in the spiritual awaking of post-modern generations. I also love teaching, and I suspect I might still end up in a doctoral program and teach in higher education as a tenure track faculty member. I cannot grasp how these two vocations might unite, but I am working on trust.
Comments
Post a Comment